6 tips for Dealing with a Toxic Work Environment

If you sense that you're navigating a toxic work environment, this post is for you. I frequently encounter individuals who perceive their workplace or manager as toxic and abusive. Often, the victims hesitate to use such explicit terms, as abuse can manifest in various subtle forms, leading individuals to believe that a resolution is within reach. I've also personally experienced this and recognized that toxic individuals can be found in many organizations, creating unhealthy team dynamics. It's familiar to come home feeling overwhelmed, questioning your reactions, with a sense of isolation from those who can't relate. And more often than not - no one can relate, and even if someone does, they offer no relief or help.

I employ stark language because the reality is harsh, significantly impacting the well-being of employees, leading to sadness, low self-esteem and exhaustion. Thus, I've compiled some insights to help you navigate such situations. While I'm not a therapist, my understanding of organizational culture can offer practical advice. Not all listed suggestions may apply universally, but I hope some resonate with those facing such challenges.

Firstly, it's crucial to discern the severity of the abuse. Seek professional help if you're unsure about its impact on you.

Initially, you might find comfort in colleagues who consistently share their dissatisfaction, complain about the negativity of the situation and express intentions to depart, yet never follow through. They could last years in that work place. Relying on them may not be conducive to your mental health. Though you night feel they are allies, friends who are int he same boat, however, they are not. Their way of coping is venting to you. It's better to confide in someone more removed from your immediate work circle. Venting to a friend from a different company or seeking guidance from a mentor can provide a fresh perspective and a safe space.

Secondly, avoid confusing feelings with reality. Narcissistic colleagues, or toxic ones, can create a disorienting workplace reality. Recognize when you're being gaslighted, and immediately find (within minutes) a private space to collect your thoughts, and remind yourself of what a healthy work environment feels like. Consult with a trusted external opinion if needed. Make a call right then, don't wait for too long as you'll be normalizing that feeling and start internalizing it.

Thirdly, quitting isn't always the solution. Evaluate the severity before taking drastic steps, acknowledging that narcissistic behaviors exist in most organizations. Learn how to navigate toxic situations rather than letting them significantly impact you. Organizations tend to favor toxic individuals with charismatic qualities and high-achieving attributes. They appreciate a competitive spirit and often value those who appear to be high performers, even if the reality is that they may take credit for the work of others. Consequently, encountering such dynamics is not exclusive to one organization, and even if you transition to a different workplace, similar situations may arise.

While some organizations are more favorable than others, the option to switch may not always be feasible, particularly in times of a competitive job market or due to constraints, be they financial or mental. Therefore, it becomes crucial to proactively develop strategies for handling toxic situations, as these challenges are pervasive. There is no better time than the present to acquire the skills necessary to navigate such environments and minimize their impact on your professional and personal well-being.

Fourthly, establish boundaries with a simple phrase: "Let me think about it." This particular phrase proves highly valuable when you find yourself under pressure to make decisions or provide opinions in situations that stress you or manipulate you. Personally, I use it consistently across various decision-making scenarios, irrespective of the individual involved. My go-to response is often, "It's a nice/interesting idea; I need to think about it." Importantly, I always attach a deadline, which may range from a few days to as short as 30 minutes, depending on the circumstances: "Let's catch up tomorrow morning".

This tactic becomes particularly useful when dealing with individuals attempting to force immediate responses. The pressure to react on the spot is a common strategy employed by some toxic individuals, as being caught off guard increases the likelihood of responding out of character for oneself but in alignment with their approach. Initially challenging, with practice, taking a moment for introspection before offering a response becomes more effortless and ingrained, allowing for a measured and thoughtful engagement. Remember, this only works if you physically move somewhere else, where you are not seen or heard, where you feel safe.

Fifth, recognize what happens when you're triggered. It's common to advise distancing yourself, but sometimes identifying triggers isn't clear. Be aware of your reactions – whether it's raised voices, tears, or feeling something in your body. When it occurs, end the conversation with a safe phrase like "I need to think about it." This helps when toxic individuals pressure and manipulate you. Pausing allows you to understand, re-center, and, as you establish more boundaries, step away from triggering conversations. Move to the next step: rehearsal.

Sixth, prepare for discussions with problematic individuals. Rehearse what to say and what not to say, envisioning the desired outcome and planning the narrative. Understand that their logic may differ, requiring strategic communication. The only way to master this is by acknowledging there is a problem, and that the solution is as little communication as needed. Every word should be only 24k. If it's there - it's important. It it's not important - it should be there. If you feel like honesty is the best policy and that if you'd just open up there is a better chance for a resolution - think again. Some people may not seek middle ground, leading to frustration. If conversations seem repetitive, shift focus to what you can control – yourself, your behaviors, responses, and coping tools.

I've witnessed how implementing even one small change in the way people deal with toxic individuals can empower and motivate them to establish healthier boundaries over time. This progress can eventually lead to a reversal of burnout endured from working with such individuals or in an unhealthy culture.

I also recommend finding something relaxing to do with your hands. I like cooking, food fermentation, soap making and baking, but it could be pottery, fixing cars, carpentry, gardening, or embroidery. Apparently it has been scientifically proven to improve your mood.